Feeling pretty down the past week or two.. struggling to find a reason for it all.. I know that sounds like a depressed or suicidal thought.. but it is nothing that extreme or worrisome.. I actually love my life for the most part.. but the parts I don’t love.. are what have me down..
I just seem to be so lazy.. I love sitting on the couch on my laptop.. (like, um, now.) I clean my house, but not as much as I’d like to.. but then that first thought breaks off into me thinking “Do I have too hugh of expectations for myself?” I mean I woke up with Ethan at 4:15am.. and when we finally came down around 7:15am.. I swept the kitchen and the parlor, then mopped them both, and I also did a tubload of laundry, and had a play date (Jolene and Allie) over this morning.. but that was all done early.. and I haven’t gotten up off this couch since.. well, except to go thru BK drive thru to eat my feelings away.. but it’s only 2:45pm.. and I am taking Ayden to see Toy Story 3 tonight at 7:30pm.. so.. what the frick?! Am I lazy.. should I be up and doing something.. or are my standards too high??
This is the story of my life.. I can’t make decisions because I don’t even know what the right path is..
Another example is my parenting.. I want to be a better parent (aka raise better kids.. ya know.. the kind that somewhat listen) but I don’t even know if my parenting style is too strict.. or too lenient.. so how can I change?!
Indecisive.. that’s me.. confused and indecisive.. or do they pretty much mean the same thing.. either way.. I’m lost in the sauce..
And can I just vent about Frank.. he’s still sleeping.. it’s 2:45pm.. granted he has been getting up at a decent hour for a while now.. but.. ugh.. why does he get to check out and I never do?? I hate it..
I hate that I sacrifice all my time and energy for my family.. only to have them turn around and be snotty, rude, unappreciative.. etc.. especially Frank.. I wanna ..
Ethan just shit.. on the floor.. got it all over himself as well.. it’s just not a good for me.. at all..
